The Humidifer
by Siv the Fish
Summary: Nani is in the hospital. Faced with losing everything the two freeloading aliens, Jumba and Pleakley, are forced to get jobs. If that wasn't bad enough Jumba makes a new invention for the occasion.
1. Chapter 1

Any question as to which episode I got what from please just ask. You'd be surprised how much of this is canon. Beta reader wanted.

* * *

"What happened?" Asked Pleakly calmly. Jumba looked up from the horror movie he'd been watching. Bigger girl, little girl, and six-two-six had not returned home yet.

"NANI IS IN THE HOSPITAL?" Screamed the one eyed noodle. This got Jumba's attention. Getting up from his movie the scientist came up from behind to listen closer to little girl on the other end. From what Jumba could gather there was an accident involving a tourist and a wave runner. Nani was to be hospitalized until she woke up, which could be from several days to weeks. Various scenarios whirled through Jumba's brilliant mind. Money was being the primary concern. Bigger girl's health was important too, but that sort of help wasn't cheap.

"Well I need to go pick up Lilo and the little monster from the hospital." Stated Pleakly setting the phone back on its cradle.

'We are needing jobs.' Thought Jumba only half listening to Pleakly babble on. Jumba was already working on a new project when the sound of a smaller spaceship leave.

In an experiment a proper scientist has a control. A norm to base all other observations off of. This is how the scientist knows that the reaction or outcome is new and to make documentation of the changes. Jumba Jokiba was not a proper scientist. He produced machines and concocted genetically modified creatures on a whim. So when he was asked to act like a proper normal human almost always ended badly. It wasn't even his personality that drove people away. It was his and Pleakly's out of world appearance.

Jumba knew that he looked like a monster to the local life forms. Humans where cruel to even their own kind, case and point was little girl and her 'friends'. Towering over even the tallest of humans and having four eyes was asking for trouble in finding Earth job. Pleakly needed a new disguise as well. One enormous eye, two tongues, and three legs was just as bad if not worse than Jumba's appearance. Throw in their non-human looking skin tones and disaster was waiting to strike. No, best fix the problem here and now.

Even after Pleakly came home with six-two-six and little girl in tow Jumba refused to part with his project. Ignoring the one-eyed glare his bunkmate was giving him Jumba worked right through the night. It was shortly after the Earthen sun had began to shine over the horizon was Jumba finally finished.

"AH HA!" Cried the Evil Genius holding up the remote to his contraption.

"How can you still be so energetic after working all night?" Asked Pleakly sleepily.

"Eagerness to test invention greater than tiredness." Replied Jumba. Lovingly he walked over to the glass capsule he had brought in from his lab. It was just wide enough to fit even his girth inside of it. Tweaking the handheld remote to the dial spot labeled 'Pleakly'.

"Now to test new invention." Muttered Jumba out loud. Reaching towards the bottom bunk Jumba extracted the still half asleep Pleakly from his bed. Ignoring the smaller alien's protests the glass capsule closed and Jumba activated the machine.

* * *

Lilo woke up with a start. There was the usually yelling of Pleakly towards Jumba. Groaning Lilo pulled the pillow over her head to block out the racket. There was a brief silence before an earth shattering scream. A scream from a person that she had never heard before. Lilo bolted from her bed to take the lift to the lower level. Stitch followed close behind in case he was needed. Reaching the lower level Lilo looked around cautiously.

"What did you do to me?" Came a female voice from Jumba and Pleakly's room. As quietly as they could Lilo and Stitch snuck up the stairs towards her babysitters' room. Stitch opened the door just in time to hear Jumba praise his genius.

"Machine works flawlessly." Exclaimed Jumba loudly. "Ah little girl what do you think?"

Lilo didn't know what to think. There was a woman whom she had never met before sitting in a glass capsule. The woman bore a striking resemblance to Nani and her mother. The only main difference was that the woman was not as well endowed as her late mother and older sister.

"Uh…Why is there a woman in that capsule?" Asked Lilo pointing to the odd woman.

"It's me! Pleakly!" Exclaimed the woman now rising to her feet to beat the side of the capsule.

"PLEAKLY?" Lilo actually stumbled backwards at the fact. "But…But…but how?"

"Introducing Humidifier. Simple rearranging of molecular structure to resemble primitive Earth life form."

"So basically you made Pleakly a human?" Asked Lilo getting up to get a better look. "Wait doesn't a humidifier just make the air wetter?"

"Was originally calling Humanifier but sounding too stupid. Humidifier making much more sense." Explained Jumba.

"But why?"

"Who cares why? Just change me back!" Snarled Pleakly.

"We are needing jobs now that bigger girl is in hospital right. This will be making life much easier now." That answer still didn't please Pleakly.

"Why'd you make an Earth female?" Snapped the woman banging her fist on the glass harder than before.

"Eh! You dressing as Earth female anyway. Besideing that, we are making believe we are married couple from Canadia." Pleakly new dark brown eyes grew softer. There was no arguing with that logic.

"Still you didn't need to go this far! My Earth disguise was perfect enough as it was thank you." Rolling all four eyes Jumba allowed the new Pleakly out of the capsule. Switching the remote to 'Jumba' Jumba handed the remote to the little girl.

"Pressing the red button will change Jumba to little fleshy human." Instructed the mad scientist as the capsule shut around him. With an evil grin Lilo pressed the button.

* * *

Jumba never really appreciated Pleakly's ability to sew until now. When Jumba picked out a images of a males from the country called Russia he forgot how much bigger he was than a normal human. It took the new human Pleakly a mere twenty minutes to fit his usual pants and shirt to his new form. It was strange to watch Pleakly work with two extra fingers on each hand. In an effort to remain true to her Ploan(misspell) Pleakly had formed her hands into the Vulcan hand gesture for wishing long life and prospering.

Her dress fixed to fit her frame Pleakly was walking down the street to the local businesses. Lilo had managed to find an eye patch for Pleakly to wear. Before the transformation all Pleakly needed was one eye, after complaining about a growing headache they found an eye patch for her. Wincing every once and again as the little bits of debris hurt her tender feet. High on the list of things to get was shoes. The pebbles hurt Jumba's feet too but he refused to show it. Oddly Pleakly didn't attempt to purchase half the store, they got one pair of shoes a piece before Pleakly insisted they split ways.

Looking at the wanted ads Jumba tried to think about his best friend's coldness. Having a super computer for a brain was a burden at times. All he could think about was that cool look Pleakly gave him every time their eyes met. Glaring down at the wanted ads Jumba pooled all his focus towards the tiny print.

Lilo was upset. She didn't want to lose anymore of her Ohana. Everyone said that Nani would be fine, it was just going to take a lot of time. When Lilo almost stayed home from hula class Pleakly threatened to carry her to class. All Pleakly had to say was how sad Nani would be if she avoided doing what she loved because of her. Lilo started to tear up remembering that is exactly what Nani said right after their parents died.

"Is everything alright Lilo?" Asked her hula instructor kindly. Looking up Lilo gave a great sniff. "I heard about your sister. If you want to go home I understand."

"No. Aunt Pleakly said that sitting around being sad will make Nani sad too." Straightened up Lilo as she repeated her aunt's words. Kumu gave a small smile. Getting to her level Kumu sat down next to his most troubled student.

"Your aunt is right Lilo." He said once he got comfortable. "Time is the only thing that can heal Nani right now. In the meantime you can work and practice so that when Nani does wake up you can show her how much you have grown." With a new sparkle in her eyes Lilo jumped to her feet and joined Victoria to practice their hula together. Kumu was worried about Lilo, but after hearing about her wonderful O'hana he knew that she was going to be just fine.

* * *

Never before in her life has Pleakly hated an individual. Well hate was such a strong word. She strongly disliked the fact that Jumba experimented on him and then turned him into an Earth female. Cursing her luck Pleakly picked a random bench to sit down upon. Outside of the Galatic Federation she never worked a day in her life. They were going to lose everything just because of her. Placing her face in her hands Pleakly began to plan her next move.

"Excuse me dear." Came a female voice somewhere in front of Pleakly. Leaving her face in her left hand Pleakly pointed south. "The beach is that way." The woman laughed lightly.

"Not quite what I was looking for. I was just wondering where you bought you Muumuu from is all. I've never seen anything like it." Pleakly looked down at her dress picking at the newly sewn seam. In an effort to save material she had turned the extra fabric into a sash.

"Found it in Nani's closet. I had to hem it quite a bit to get it to fit as well as I wanted." Explained Pleakly allowing the hem on her dress to fall away. "Anyway I best be going." Picking up her clip from the news paper Pleakly got up to leave.

"Hey is that the wanted ads?" Asked the strange woman grabbing Pleakly's arm.

"Yes?"

"How would you like a job?" Asked the woman brightly. Pleakly looked into the face of her savoir. If Pleakly had not know that all those brown markings where considered natural she would've rushed the lady to the nearest hospital.

"You really mean it?" Exclaimed Pleakly invading her new boss's personal space.

"Amber Bates." Was all Amber said holding out her hand to shake.

"Pleakly." Replied back the alien turned human. Amber blinked in confusion.

"Pleakly? What no last name?" Teased Amber thinking her new employee was just being shy. Pleakly on the other hand froze.

'Think Wendy! If you use Pleakly as a first name and not your last name then what will you use as your last name? Wait the local islanders think I'm married to Jumba. What's his last name again?'

"Jukiba. My name is Pleakly Jukiba."

"Well Ms Jukiba. Here's my card with the shop's address on it. Bring all your paperwork on Friday when I show you around the store ok?" Explained Amber taking out a business card for Pleakly to have.

"Paperwork?" Asked Pleakly looking at Amber in shock. No one said anything about paperwork.

"You know resume, license, work visa if you need one, that sort of thing. Well I best be off too. Bye now see you Friday." Laughed Amber at her good luck as she wandered away.

"Yeah Friday." Mutter Pleakly sadly looking at the business card.

* * *

"Finding job is harder than evil genius expected." Complained Jumba flipping through the channels on the television. It was around seven at night and Jumba found nothing. Half expecting Pleakly to come home pissed off that no one wanted her 'amazing talents' Jumba was already prepared to block whatever rant the new earth female could come up with. Strangely Pleakly came home, made dinner, cleaned the dishes, and went to bed. Maybe female human hormones where stronger than Jumba had originally theorized.

"Don't worry Jumba." Chirped Lilo looking away from the television. "Your nice, and super smart. Someone will hire you. I know I would!"

Smiling at little girl's blind faith Jumba vowed to try harder next day. When Jumba went to get ready for bed he spotted that his usual night clothing was nearly folded on his bunk. Giving his roommate's back a rare smile Jumba pulled on his cloths and literally hopped into bed. Slipping into the divot created from when he was two hundred pounds heavier Jumba knew he wasn't going to sleep very well that night. Being a human was more difficult than he had ever thought possible. Too bad he wasn't creating anymore experiments, an experiment that transformed any life form into a human could really cause chaos and mass mayhem.


	2. Chapter 2

So sorry for the name spelling fail. Thanks for all your support. Thanks for the Beta Kyo!

* * *

Pleakley slept badly that night. Between the lack of Jumba's snoring (something about having that sound made falling asleep easier), the constant shifting from the upper bunk, and the lack of proper paperwork to start a job kept Pleakley up for a good part of the night.

At some point Pleakley must have managed to fall asleep during the night because she was awoken from her nap by someone pounding on the front door.

"I got it." Came the voice of Lilo as she zipped towards the front door.

Groaning in misery Pleakley found her eye patch to fit around her left eye. Jumba jumped down noisily from his bed to see who had come calling.

"Cobra Bubbles?" Lilo stared at her case worker. Ever since the decree that her family was to be protected by the Galactic Federation, Cobra only popped in once in a while to visit. Looking down the steps Pleakley could see that the former CIA agent had removed his sunglasses.

"What is he being here for?" Jumba crossed his arms. Cobra glanced up the small flight of stairs at the two aliens turned human.

"Jumba? Pleakley?" Cobra raised an eyebrow, trying valiantly to suppress the dumbfounded look on his face.

"You were expecting the bunny of Easter?" Asked Jumba.

"Agent Bubbles! Wha-what brings you here?" Asked Pleakley readjusting her eye patch.

"Well I was informed that Nani was in the hospital, and was assigned to picked up Lilo and take her into custody." Cobra informed them.

"What? You can't do that!" Screeched Pleakley; rushing down the stairs.

"Family is protected by the Galactic Federation." Argued Jumba. Not that he really cared about the other people in the house. Ok maybe he did. A little. But mostly he just didn't want his wonderful invention, and the mutilating of his handsome face, to go to waste.

"That's right!" Chimed in Pleakley.

"As long as there is not a member of the household earning a steady income I can not let Lilo stay," explained Bubbles, folding his arms and throwing in a stern look for good measure.

"I've got a job," piped up Pleakley, raising her arm nervously.

The household all stared up at the woman.

"You did not say anything," stated Jumba, giving his roommate an incredulous look.

"Do you even the proper paperwork to start a job?" Asked Cobra; glaring at the illegal alien. Bowing her head, Pleakley did not answer.

"That's what I thought." With that Cobra placed his enormous hand on Lilo's shoulder.

"This isn't fair!" Protested Pleakley loudly.

"Life isn't," was the social worker's clipped rebutle.

"It would be if people tried," snapped back Pleakley.

Cobra looked from Lilo to Jumba and back to Pleakly again; then he heaved a sigh. "This will not be easy."

"We are not caring," rumbled Jumba shifting his weight to lean backwards a little. As much as Cobra disliked the illegal aliens he hated tearing families apart even more. With a noise of annoyance he went out to the car and came back with a laptop and a portable printer.

"What's that for?" Asked Pleakley, curious, and itching to get her fingerprints all over the primitive technology, as the social worker plugged in his equipment. When she saw the camera on the laptop, there was no resisting. "Oooo this is so fascinating!"

Bubbles grabbed the alian's wrist a centimeter short of smudging the lens. "Don't touch. We are creating identities for the both of you."

"That's convenient." Muttered Jumba.

"Quite. You are not the first set of aliens wishing to become citizens of Earth. Let's start with you Jumba."

* * *

The paper was still warm from the printer when Cobra Bubbles handed it over for the family to see. No detail had been spared in the fabrication of their .

"A more official license and social security card will arrive at a later date," explained Cobra, packing up his things to leave.

Lilo came rushing in to hug the huge man's leg. "Thank you." She gave him a grateful look that reminded the man why he loved his job.

"Remember, just because one of you has a job does not mean you can slack off. She requires food, clothing, and medicine if she needs it. Do I make myself clear? Take good care her. Lilo's a very special little girl," warned Agent Bubbles.

Jumba gave a loud snort. "We are already knowing this."

With one last glance at the world's most unusual family, Cobra left for the mainland.

Still hating their situation, Pleakley went off to start her first day of work, papers clutched in her hands.

Jumba decided to walk Lilo to her lesson to see what the big deal was with the whole hula thing. Little girl's evil friend was outside the school when they arrived. Six-Two-Six growled at the orange haired female.

"If it isn't Weird-lo, her dumb dog, and look she even brought her freakish uncle." Mertle sneered to the other girls.

'Orange haired little girl would make great evil assistant if she wasn't so dumb-minded,' thought Jumba, his mind, as always, on things maniacal.

"Alright we will be seeing you laters," Jumba waved, going towards town.

"Wait. Are you going to pick me up after hula class?" Asked Lilo; her large human eyes seemed to grow even larger as she looked up at him.

"Eh, if I be passing by maybe," Jumba waved again and continued to walk without looking back.

"Pass by around two o' clock then," called Lilo as she entered the building.

Smirking at the comment, Jumba pulled out the newspaper clipping.

* * *

"Alright Mrs. Joo-ki-ba?" Asked Amber looking over all of Pleakley's paperwork. "Any reason you go by your middle name?"

"I have an aunt named Wendy. It makes it easier to know who we are referring to." This lying business was getting easier.

"Well everything seems to be in order. Your work station is over here next to Momoko. We deal mostly with costume making, clothing alterations, and various other commissions. We just expanded to internet orders so we are fairly busy. Now, since it's your first week we will keep your work load light. If you want to get a start on getting to know your machines, I'll get these copied for the store." With that Amber left for the office.

As Pleakley turned to her machine, the woman whom Amber had pointed out as Momoko, and some unknown male, came up to her.

"Hi I'm Momoko." The woman was in her mid thirties and shared an ethnic similarity to the other natives of the island.

"You can call me Jake." The young man who held his hand out to her, was no older than eighteen, and also had a distinctly native look to him.

"So are you doing this for college credit too?" He asked brightly.

"No I've graduated. Let me guess it was either this or woodshop?" Pleakley asked amiably while messing with her bobbin.

"Introduction to Machanics actually," replied Jake as Amber came back.

"Alright you three lunch is in two hours, let's see how much we can get done before then," clapped Amber as everyone went back to work. They worked in near silence straight up until lunch.

* * *

"So Mrs. Jookiba. What's your husband like?" Asked Momoko; taking a bite of her noodles.

Pleakley nearly choked on her pastry; she'd forgotten she was 'married'.

"Well he's always tinkering with his inventions. A bit of a mad scientist really." Explained Pleakley; sipping her green tea.

Momoko gave her an odd look.

"So he's really busy then. Does he at least make time to cuddle or anything like that?" Asked Momoko.

"No, he spends most of his time researching on his computer or watching horror movies with Lilo," explained Pleakley slowly, trying to keep from giving away the true extent of Jumba's work. That and they were only a couple on paper, so there truly wasn't anything like 'that'.

Giving her a pitying look, Momoko change the subject, and her focus, to Jake.

* * *

Jumba didn't know why he wandered by the recreation center five minutes til two. Not seeing his small charge on the steps, he entered the building. Six little girls in hula outfits and one large man were crowded around a smaller object.

"Lilo?" Jumba called; seven faces turned towards him.

"Jumba!" Shouted Lilo; jumping off the stage, grabbing his hand she dragged him back towards her previous location.

There was another new sensation for his new form, the touch of a human. In his original state his hands where extremely calloused with just enough feel to sense being touched. Her little hand was much softer than his. Jumba did not, however, have time to ponder skin texture and the like as he was dragged on stage.

"Jumba can fix anything!" Boasted Lilo; rejoining the group. The smile she shot towards the orange haired nuisance spoke volumes; in turn the redhead rolled her eyes.

"If he's related to her then he can't even fix a toaster," whispered the Mertle-girl to the others. They did not even bother to stifle their laughter much. Why was little girl friends with these people again? They were rude.

Sensing a fight the teacher decided to move on.

"The radio we use is broken," the teacher explained; waving his hand over the device.

Jumba reached forward to pick up the radio.

"Will need screwdriver," muttered Jumba; ignoring his audience. As if by magic the hula teacher pulled out said flathead screwdriver. Effortlessly the Russian popped off the four little screws and slipped them into his shirt pocket. With the back covering removed, the internal wiring was laid out before him. Grumbling about the dusty internal components Jumba spotted the burnt out wire immediately.

"Wire is kaput," explained Jumba.

The teacher didn't look surprised.

"I guess we have to make a trip to the hardware store to buy a new one."

"Will not be nessary. Little girl, I am needing head ornament," instructed Jumba holding out his hand towards the other black-haired little girl.

"My what?" Asked Yuki completely confused.

"Your...gah...what is Pleakley calling it? Pin of Bobby?" at this point the entitre room was staring at him. Frustrated, Jumba leaned forward, and as gently as he could, pulled the bobby pin out of her hair.

"Oh! You meant my hairpin. Yeah you can borrow it."

"YUKI!" scolded Mertle.

"What?" asked Yuki; wondering what she'd done wrong.

With the skill of an Evil Genius Jumba had the radio working again.

"Primitive music player functional again," announced Jumba turning the radio on. All the girls cheered as the folky music drifted from the speakers. Well except for that Mertle girl. Again Jumba suspected that little girl lacked proper intellect for appreciation of genius.

"Uncle Jumba you are the greatest!" pronounced Lilo, hugging his leg tightly.

"You seem to know what you are doing Mister-." The teacher held out his hand, waiting for a name to be supplied.

"Jumba Jookiba, Evil Genius." He took the offered hand, not quite sure what to do with the appendage. Surely the man didn't want it removed? Maybe he should enquire…

The teacher looked confused at the man's introduction, but interrupted Jumba's musings to give his own.

"Noah Kumo, Hula instructor. Listen; are you in the market for a job? I have a friend who is hard up for people who are good with wiring."

"I will be paid?" asked the overweight Russian.

"Yes?" replied back a highly confused Noah.

"Ah well, good then."

"I'll give you a call when I have more information on the job." Noah added, dismissing the class for the day.

Lilo was happy to hear that Jumba had found a new line of work. So happy, in fact, that she talked nonstop all the way home. Normally this would bother Jumba, but not today. Little girl's happiness seemed to be more contagious in this form. Either way, their little family was that much safer and that's all he cared about at the moment.


	3. For the Fans

Dear Loyal Readers,

I regret to inform you that I will no longer be updating this story. However just because I will not be writing doesn't mean this story won't go on. If anyone wishes to adopt this work of fiction please tell me such and tell me where you plan to go with it.

It's been a good ten years but I am done writing fanfiction. Instead I will focus on original works. So until we met again See yah Space Cowboy/Cowgirl!

Sincerely Siv, the Fish


End file.
